Mowgli Foundation » Mentoring Guide

How to manage the ‘mid-point dip’ in a mentoring relationship

Cordelia — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 08:46:08 +0000

Mowgli facilitator and designer of the Mowgli programmes, Simon Edwards, has led and facilitated many groups of mentors over the years as they support entrepreneurs on their journey. There are some common patterns of ‘ups and downs’ that can happen in a one-to-one mentoring relationship, particularly when contact is at long distance.

A particularly common issue which we hear about from mentors is a ‘mid-point dip’; a sudden decrease in the level of contact, or lack of meaningful response from their mentee entrepreneur. When it happens, the ‘dip’ can leave mentors feeling somewhat, insecure about their performance as a mentor, or confused about their next steps. This article gives Mowgli’s guidance on how to deal with this issue.

Common reasons for the mid-point dip:

1. A crisis of confidence within the mentee. A sense that they are not worthy of the support of the mentor

2. That they haven’t made the progress that they had hoped and feel that they have let the mentor down

3. That other opportunities come along which takes them away from their main focus

4. That they have got what they need from the relationship

The most important thing to remember: The mid-point dip is not unusual! Mentors and mentees should understand this – so that it is not treated as a barrier. Neither party should feel embarrassed or guilty about reaching this point and it does not mean either of you have failed in your roles.

Solution: communication

One of the symptoms is, obviously, a loss of communication. Firstly, if the mentor is unable to make contact, he/she should let Mowgli know so that attempts can be made locally to reconnect. We have a number of methods open to us which the mentor may not necessarily be able to access so you should always alert the programme coordinator as soon as possible and Mowgli will try and support you.

Once the reconnection has been made, it may be necessary to re-negotiate either the relationship or the objectives of the mentee. The main thing is that the truth of the breakdown is brought to the surface, so that the root causes of the dip are identified and resolved and the relationship re-energised.

If they seem keen to revitalise the mentoring objectives and relationship, it is a good idea to try and begin a discussion about the progress they have made against their initial goals. Perhaps they have achieved most of them; perhaps they haven’t, but this is a good time for both of you to reflect not only on the business goals they may have achieved, but also on what they have learned from their efforts and mistakes over the past few months. Remember the Hero’s Journey and think about the stage your mentee may have reached- if they are stuck in a rut, reflection may be necessary for them to learn and progress.

Other points to consider:

If you still cannot reconnect, be honest with yourself. As a mentor, have you listened properly? Have you been non-judgmental and accepting of the differences between you? You may also be able to learn from their previous responses to you and ‘read between the lines.’ Go back and re-read your notes and their emails to ensure you effectively addressed their worries and concerns. Self-awareness is an important part of mentoring. This is not about being ‘to blame’ – it is about understanding what happened and how you can learn from it.
If your mentee has withdrawn from you and seems reluctant to re-engage, you may have to accept that your personal approach simply doesn’t ‘click’ with them. This should not be taken as a failure and should not make you feel guilty; it is a natural occurrence that is bound to happen in some cases. Please don’t give up on mentoring; Mowgli has so many opportunities for you to get involved and give your time to entrepreneurs, and you may simply ‘fit’ better with someone else.
If the ‘dip’ turns out to be the natural end of the relationship, that is OK too. Mowgli lays down a year for the length of the relationship so that each party knows the maximum commitment, but some people get what they need long before that – the mentor has done his/her job.
In all cases, you will achieve the best result at the mid-point dip if you work through it with the support of the Mowgli team and your peer group of Mowgli mentors- and you will help others in turn by sharing your story.

We hope this helps mentors to evaluate and understand the ‘mid-point dip’. Has this happened to you? Let us know!

Mentoring – more than 1 way to skin the proverbial cat… (and a good job, too!)

Adrian Ashton — Wed, 25 May 2011 07:41:49 +0000

One of the perennial debates that comes round every so often is ‘what is mentoring? How is it different to coaching? What’s the best way of doing it?’ Well, I tend to take the approach that there is no single ‘best’ way, and that it can be done in all sorts of different formats and structures. And that’s not because of some great theory and tested academic research I know of (because actually I’m not sure that some of the theories and academic models of mentoring actually work that well in practice), but rather my own rambling experiences of mentoring over the last 15 years.

You see, I mentor people individually using the popular ‘beer mentoring’ model; I do it through brokerage schemes such as that managed by Unltd Connect (where I mentor social entrepreneurs for anything between 1 phone call and a once a month face to face for a year in their offices); I’ve done it as ‘action learning’ within the context of gaining formal mentoring qualifications (a really useful way to reflect on my practices, techniques and thinking); and I also do it within group settings as part of training programmes I develop and deliver.

Having such a variety of approaches keeps me on my toes – it means I’m constantly reflecting on the best way to structure the support and guidance I’m offering, and perhaps more importantly meaning that I don’t pigeonhole myself as a mentor in how I’m perceived by the wider world; after all, how many times have we not picked up the phone to someone because we’ve thought that “they’re probably not able or interested...”?

So – mentoring: as many ways to do it as there are ways to perhaps get arrested: both should lead to same end result, but some will be much more enjoyable than others depending on who you’re with at the time…

References:

Defining success measures are the No1 challenge for mentoring programmes

Linda Parkinson-Hardman — Thu, 19 May 2011 08:53:03 +0000

According to a recent mentoring survey by Insala, defining how a programme will measure it’s success is the biggest challenged faced by HR and other mentoring professionals. The report also says that less 2% of the survey’s respondents indicated that they were happy with the way that their organisation measured their programmes success. that they were very satisfied with how their organizations measured program success. According to Judy Corner there are three fundamental questions that need to be answered before any mentoring programme is implemented:

What are the primary objectives of the mentoring program?
How do we ensure that the most relevant and practical success metrics are used to evaluate the program?
What does program success even look like?

The Mowgli Foundation is in a unique position in that it follows and measures the outcomes from the year long mentoring programmes that we operate. Entrepreneurs and Mentors are asked to complete in-depth questionnaires about their experience and about their business success (as appropriate) at regular intervals, ensuring that success is achieved for both participants and the organisation too.

If you are interested in finding out more about the Insala Report Findings, then you can register to download a copy here: (http://www.mentoringtalent.com/whitepaper/) and if you would like to find out more about becoming either a mentor or an entrepreneur on the Mowgli Foundation year long business mentoring programme, then you can use the following links:

Mentors: http://mowgli.org.uk/about-mowgli/become-a-mowgli-mentor
Entrepreneurs: http://mowgli.org.uk/about-mowgli/become-a-mowgli-entrepreneur

Why do some leaders lose their way?

Cordelia — Tue, 10 May 2011 16:46:10 +0000

We at Mowgli have come across a fascinating paper by Bill George and Andrew McClean, which we wanted to share with you.

It’s called “Why Leaders Lose their Way” (opens PDF), and we felt it would be of interest to a number of our mentors and entrepreneurs.

Every day, you meet exceptional people with incredible skills (we certainly do here at Mowgli). But not all of them will go on to become leaders. Why? Emotional intelligence, and self-awareness, appear (write the authors) to be the key to overcoming challenges which limit some people’s ability to succeed- and lead.

Basically, we’re all human, and we all face obstacles which we create- in part- for ourselves, through our own weaknesses and limitations. This paper confirms that it’s not being perfect at everything that gets leaders to the top- but being honest about what you aren’t perfect at, or about what your temptations are.

They write:

“Through these interviews with successful leaders and our study of failed leaders, we identified a number of distinctive destructive behaviors that result from [...] temptations. Leadership development, therefore, can be viewed as a long journey though challenging terrain. Authentic leaders either learn to avoid the temptations or to overcome the personality flaws that lead to these destructive behaviors; leaders who lose their way do not.”

Have a read and let us know what you think!

(About the authors: Bill George, the former chairman and CEO of Medtronic, is a professor of management practice at Harvard Business School and author of Authentic Leadership (Jossey-Bass,2003). Andrew McLean is an independent consultant, an adjunct faculty member at Bentley College in Boston and a former research associate at Harvard Business School.)

10 Steps for Breaking Through Culture Shock

Cordelia — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 10:51:15 +0000

In her book Breaking Through Culture Shock, Elisabeth Marx describes the common stresses experienced by managers or other professionals when they transfer from their own familiar working environments to that of another country, or culture. Sometimes this can be a life-changing move across the sea; but we at Mowgli feel that these tips could be relevant (albeit on a lesser scale) to those moving within a radically different workplace culture (as McKinsey, the international consulting firm, famously define their organisational culture: “It’s the way we do things around here.”).

For example, if you have only ever worked for small family companies and you get a job with an international corporation with a staff of thousands, you will naturally experience a feeling akin to culture shock as you learn how your new colleagues think and work- or even how they expect others to spend their leisure time.

Marx describes the three levels of adaptation necessary for a manager to be effective when moving between workplace cultures:

“Coping with the stress of the transition (achieving contentment).
Changing [their own] perception and interpretation of events and behaviour (developing a way of thinking that is culturally effective.)
Developing better social skills and an international identity.” (p13)

Marx writes that interpreting foreign gestures, words, and behaviours can either be dealt with in negative ways – by ignoring them completely and isolating oneself, for example, or by remaining ignorant about their meanings and thereby limiting one’s own understanding and enjoyment of this new culture; or by becoming an ‘internationalist’ or ‘interculturalist’- becoming “fully aware of the complexity and ambiguity of exchanges in foreign cultures.”(p15). Here are her 10 tips for minimising culture shock, which we’ve paraphrased slightly to add a couple of our own ideas: (of course for a greater understanding, we recommend you read her book).

“Don’t let culture shock take you by surprise.” Take time to learn about it before you go and read up as much as you can on local culture as well as the symptoms of culture shock itself.
Expect culture shock to happen in countries or even towns close to you as well as on the other side of the world (remember our point earlier about workplace culture). Moving from city to country or vice versa will cause a certain amount of culture shock; as will moving between two countries which share a language or border.
As soon as you arrive, make sure you identify support networks of others in a similar position to you- social groups in your company, language classes and so on- as well as local people.
Don’t give in to the stress, for example by drinking or eating too much or becoming socially isolated; this will only increase symptoms of culture shock long term. Allow yourself time to adapt, and recognise this kind of reaction for what it is- a symptom of the culture shock.
Ask others in your position for tips. With the rise of social networks such as LinkedIn and Facebook it will be easy to make contact with those who have been there and done that. Use online connections to help while you settle in, but don’t fall into the trap of living a virtual life and never stepping outside- this will not help your cultural adjustment in the long run.
Give yourself time to adapt- don’t overload yourself with work in the beginning. You will need time and space for the simplest things- for example, working out how to get your laundry done or settling your kids into school. Make sure you don’t pile the stress on all at once by working long hours.
Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if you continue to feel isolated and need support from a counsellor. Your organisation may well offer this.
You might well experience culture shock when returning home, in reverse. Be aware of this and recognise that it is normal.
Try and remain positive about your experiences. Once you have overcome culture shock, you will be much better adapted to your new environment and you will have achieved something worthwhile and valuable.
and lastly… “Retain a sense of humour!”-(pp18-19)

Additional Mowgli Resources:

The Iceberg: how to understand what’s below the surface of all human beings- and how to communicate based on this knowledge.
The ‘Cross Cultural Understanding‘ section of the Mowgli Knowledge Centre.

External Resources/references:

Article: Martin (2006) ‘That’s the way we do things around here: an overview of organisational culture’, Electronic Journal of Academic and Special Librarianship, v.7 no.1 (Spring 2006). Online here.
Article: Engert et al (2010) Assessing cultural compatibility: A McKinsey perspective on getting practical about culture in M&A (McKinsey and Company: June 2010). Link to PDF.
Book: E. Marx, Breaking Through Culture Shock (Nicholas Brealey Publishing: London, 1999). Amazon.

Conversations for Action

Linda Parkinson-Hardman — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 13:54:39 +0000

Conversations for Action includes:

1. Making clear offers and requests

Offers open the possibility to ask questions, deepen understanding and begin negotiation. Requests give the provider and the customer the opportunity to work together.

2. Making commitments or promises

The entrepreneur can make a “big picture” commitment about what he or she would like to accomplish during the Mowgli mentoring year. This can give the Mowgli mentoring relationship a framework and strategy.

3. Declaring a breakdown in communication and commitment

Offers may be withdrawn or unfulfilled and commitments may be forgotten. Either party can state that there has been a breakdown and either renegotiate/re-commitment or withdraw.

4. Feedback and Assessments

Both the entrepreneur and the mentor have the opportunity to assess each other’s effectiveness and give high quality feedback.

The short slideshow below provides a number of examples of each of these elements.

Conversations for Action

View more presentations from Mowgli Foundation.

The Red Thread Model

Linda Parkinson-Hardman — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 16:09:55 +0000

Another model, used within many multinational corporations as an introduction, is the showing of a life journey on an X and Y axis.

X – the Vertical Axis is Happiness
Y – the Horizontal Axis shows months and years

Points are plotted showing the range of experiences and emotional states, for example:

Some cultures refer to the linear life journey as pulling or following a golden, red or invisible thread of purpose that provides context for life’s changes and challenges.

Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation

Linda Parkinson-Hardman — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 16:00:16 +0000

Intrinsic/expressive motivation is a desire to do something or learn that does not stem from an external influence. Also known as self-motivation and internal motivation.

Extrinsic motivation is the desire to do something or learn something that is connected with a reward. Many people’s motivation for work is to earn the reward of money. People also work because a job is part of their status and working contributes to their positive self-identification.

In 1938, Austrian economist Joseph Schumpeter stated that “The entrepreneur contributes to society a qualitative, discontinuous change through innovation.” (1) Most believe this desire to create change is deeply intrinsic within entrepreneurs.

Additional Resources:

Chapter 5, from Edward Vockell’s Educational Psychology: A Practical discusses Intrinsic Motivation. http://education.calumet.purdue.edu/vockell/edPsybook/Edpsy5/edpsy5_intrinsic.htm
Link: Description of the differences and qualities of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation in relationship to learning. Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivations: Classic Deﬁnitions and New Directions
For more information on Creative Destruction and other Schumpeter theories relating to innovation and entrepreneurship. The International Joseph Alois Schumpeter Society.

References:

Joseph Schumpeter: Capitalism, Socialism and Democracy (New York: Harper, 1975) [orig. pub. 1942], pp. 82-85

Csikszentmihalyi – Theory of Flow

Linda Parkinson-Hardman — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 15:57:12 +0000

Professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has written for many years on finding happiness and a concept called, “Flow.”

He states, “The metaphor of “flow” is one that many people have used to describe the sense of effortless action they fell in moments that stand our as the best in their lives. Athletes refer to it as “being in the zone, religious mystics as being in “ecstasy,” artist and musicians as aesthetic rapture. Athletes, mystics, and artists do very different things yet their descriptions of the experience are remarkably similar.” (1)

In this 2004 TED talk Dr Csikszentmihalyi describes how he ‘found’ flow and his understanding of what motivates creative people to work.

Additional Resources:

Flow: The Psychology of Happiness: The Classic Work on How to Achieve Happiness, Rider; New edition, 2002.
Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life (Masterminds Series), Basic Books 1998.

References:

Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life (Masterminds Series), Basic Books 1998. page 29,+

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Theory

Linda Parkinson-Hardman — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 15:49:51 +0000

Professor and psychologist Maslow first discussed the Theory of Human Motivation in a 1943 journal article published in Psychological Review, 50, 370-396 (1).

He believed once people meet basic physiological and security needs, they will be motivated to seek greater complexity in relationships and reach a higher level of self-awareness.

Additional Resources

From Psychology – The Search for Understanding by Janet A. Simons, Donald B. Irwin and Beverly A. Drinnien,West Publishing Company, New York, 1987, http://honolulu.hawaii.edu/intranet/committees/FacDevCom/guidebk/teachtip/maslow.htm
The Five Levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, K Cherry, http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/a/hierarchyneeds.htm
Maslow, Abraham http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Abraham_Maslow

References:

A Theory of Human Motivation, Abraham. H. Maslow (1943), Originally Published in Psychological Review, 50, 370-96: http://psychclassics.yorku.ca/Maslow/motivation.htm?guid=on.

The Trait Emotional Intelligence Questionnaire

Linda Parkinson-Hardman — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 14:27:37 +0000

The Trait Emotional Intelligence Questionnaire, or TEIQue, was developed at University College London by Dr Petrides, Pita, and Kokkinaki (1).

The TEIQue measures personality traits that give an indication of where emotional strengths and weaknesses lie and“it defines trait EI, not as a cognitive ability, but as a collection of personality traits concerning people’s perceptions of their emotional abilities.” (2)

The TEIQue looks at self-reported levels of well-being, sociability, emotionality, self-control, adaptability and self-motivation through a long questionnaire (153 items, measuring 15 distinct facets, 4 factors, and global trait EI) or a short form. (30 questions).

Additional Resources:

Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations.

References:

The location of trait emotional intelligence in personality factor space. K. V. Petrides, Ria Pita, Flora Kokkinaki. British Journal of Psychology. Volume 98, Issue 2, pages 273–289, May 2007.http://www.psychometriclab.com/admins/files/BJP%20(2007)%20-%20T_EI.pdf
K.V. Petrides in an interview with Science Watch. http://www.sciencewatch.com/dr/erf/2010/10augerf/10augerfPetr/

How is Myers Briggs used?

Linda Parkinson-Hardman — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 14:24:18 +0000

How is Myers Briggs used?

Myers Briggs profiles are often used in teams where high self-awareness and understanding individual behaviours and preferences is crucial.

“McKinsey uses Myers-Briggs and most new consultants (and even their spouses or significant others) receive this training very early in their careers. The tool is extremely helpful in assessing one’s baseline personality and communication style. Specifically it measures the interaction type, problem solving approach, and sensitivity.” (5)

Recommended Resources:

Read: Article — Type in Personal Growth: Myers Briggs Foundation http://www.myersbriggs.org/type-use-for-everyday-life/type-in- personal-growth/

Book: Please Understand Me II, David Kiersey. http://www.keirsey.com/pum_2.aspx.

Book: MBTI Manual: A guide to the development and use of the Myers Briggs type indicator (3rd ed.), Isabel Briggs Myers, Mary H. McCaulley, Naomi L. Quenk, Allen L. Hammer.

References:

1. The McKinsey Mind: Understanding and Implementing Problem Solving Tools and Management Techniques of the World’s Top Strategic Consulting Firm. Ethan Rasiel and Paul Friga. McGraw-Hill Professional, 2001.

Tools for enhancing Self Awareness

Linda Parkinson-Hardman — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 14:11:26 +0000

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (1) personality inventory is based on C. G. Jung’s theory of psychological types (4) and is aimed at making these types useful and comprehensible. The essence of the theory is that most of the variation in human behaviour and responses to stimuli, which may seem random or irrational, is actually quite orderly and consistent; and due to basic differences in the way these ‘types’ of people are conditioned by their type to perceive external stimuli.

In developing the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, the aim of Isabel Briggs Myers and Katharine Briggs was to make the insights of type theory accessible to individuals and groups. The MBTI is restricted to use by certified psychological professionals. You must find someone who is certified to administer and explain the MBTI instrument to you, or there are also various (paid) options for taking the MBTI test online; visit www.MBTIComplete.com.

There is no genuine ‘short’ or ‘free’ version of the MBTI; this is because it is a complex psychological assessment. However, if you want to do a free online exercise which will help you to understand your personality in the language of the MBTI, try this one from Personality Pathways; it will give you a basic idea of your likely MBTI and what it means. Be warned though- this is not as comprehensive or as accurate as the proper assessment.

For more on understanding your Myers Briggs results, visit the Myers Briggs Foundation website here.

Understanding of MBTI personal preferences helps mentors understand their own way of working. With high self-awareness, mentors, like good leaders are able to blend with style preferences of others and to work flexibly with a variety of individuals.

The MBTI assesses basic preferences of:

How people relate to the world,
Preference for gathering information,
Decision making style and,
Orientation to planning and deadlines.

1. Relationship to the world

Extroversion — Finding energy through interaction with the world of random input.
Intraversion — Drawing energy through time spent alone within an inner world of ideas.

2. How people prefer to gather information

Sensing — For some perception comes through taste, touch, sight, hearing and smell.
Intuition — Others look at patterns, past behaviours, an overall picture when they take in data.

3. How people make judgements and decisions:

Thinking — A preference for judgement based on fact and established rules.
Feeling – Judgement of a situation based on values and personal preferences.

4. How people engage with planning and deadlines:

Judgemental — These people are committed to strict deadlines and want to draw projects and deliberations to a close.
Perceptive — These individuals want to keep options open; they are committed to broad, wide and deep inquiries.

Section Links:

How is Myers-Briggs Used?

References

Center for Application of Personal Type, Gainesville, Florida. http://www.capt.org/mbti-assessment/mbti-overview.htm
MBTI® Manual: A Guide to the Development and Use of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator®., CPP, Inc. 1998.

Key resources for understanding Emotional Intelligence

Linda Parkinson-Hardman — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 14:04:19 +0000

Video: Daniel Goleman at Google University

Book: Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More Than IQ, Daniel Goleman. Bloomsbury Publishing PLC. 1996.

Book: Working with Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman, 1999.

Book: The Emotionally Intelligent Workplace: How to Select for, Measure and Improve Emotional Intelligence in Individuals, Groups and Organization. Cary Cherniss and Daniel Goleman. Jossey-Bass Business & Management. 2001.

Article: What Makes a Leader, Daniel Goleman. http://hbr.org/2004/01/what-makes-a-leader/ar/1

Article: Emotional Intelligence: What it is and Why it Matters, Cary Cherniss, Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology (GSAPP) Rutgers University.http://www.eiconsortium.org/reports/what_is_emotional_intelligence.html

The Five Components of Emotional Intelligence at Work

Linda Parkinson-Hardman — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 14:02:12 +0000

Emotional Intelligence, developed by Dr Daniel Goleman, identifies five competencies as essential to leadership success. These five are essential competencies for Mowgli Mentors (1).

The Five Components of Emotional Intelligence at Work (excerpted from What Makes and Leader; also Working with Emotional Intelligence) (2).

(Click the image below to see it full size)

Additional Resources:

The Effective Leader – understanding and applying emotional intelligence.

References:

Harvard Business Review article: What Makes a Leader, Daniel Goleman. http://hbr.org/2004/01/what-makes-a-leader/ar/1.
Working with Emotional Intelligence, Bloomsbury Publishing, PLC. 1999.