“Mentoring is like holding up a mirror to someone- but it’s a magic mirror that shows them things they didn’t know about themselves. Mentoring is not about judging, it’s about support. [...] Listen with every square inch of your body and you will be a better leader.”

Our thanks to Mustapha for this. We hope it helps you reflect on your journey as an entrepreneur: both as you spend time with your loved ones at the close of this year, and as you look ahead to building your business and your aspirations in 2012.

__________________________________________________________________________

“I know that this is the season of goodwill, happiness and love. However, allow me to share with you this article. I came across the content more than 20 years ago. I have on many occasions used it not only for my own reflection, but shared it with colleagues, friends and mentees. (Some of you may initially find the article depressing, for that I apologise).

This article is written by Bronnie Ware, a palliative care worker who has worked with a countless number of patients who are sadly seeing their last days on earth. When Bronnie had questioned the patients about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

 The Top 5 Regrets

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. 
From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. 

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.”

With all best wishes from the Mowgli Team in the UK and the Middle East to our wonderful mentors, entrepreneurs and supporters across the world.

Happy holidays and we wish you a safe, prosperous and rewarding New Year.

How to use your understanding of the Greiner Curve to move your business forward

1. Recognise the signs that your business is at a ‘crisis point’.

Some of the signs of ‘crisis’ include:

• You get told that company procedures and systems (or lack of them) are stopping people doing their jobs. For example; the ordering process takes far too long; the paperwork you want your sales team to complete never gets done because it’s too complex. Or maybe you don’t have a proper database and you’ve got too many customers to remember them all!
• Staff seem unhappy, or feel that they are not fairly rewarded for the effort they put in. (Make sure you regularly listen to what your staff are saying- or not saying.)
• You are getting customer complaints about your products or services and you think it’s down to systems or company structure, not individual staff.

2. Thinking about the Greiner growth patterns, ask yourself what the transition will mean for you personally and your team and which of the ‘crisis point’ solutions apply.

Will you have to:

• Delegate more?
• Take on more responsibilities?
• Divide your team’s roles and responsibilities more clearly?
• Specialize more in a specific product or market?
• Change the way you communicate with others?
• Incentivize and reward your team differently?

3. Try and come up with a sensible list of concrete actions you can take to solve your problem.

Be honest about the time you need to do this, and keep your eye on what you want to achieve- what kind of growth is important to you? Maybe you don’t want to be the biggest or fastest company in your field- maybe you want to stay small but get much bigger clients or produce higher quality products.

4. Make sure you communicate the plan for change- why you’re doing it, how you’re doing it, and what everyone’s role is in the plan- to everyone in your team.

If you keep your staff up to date on the plan and the progress, they will be much more likely to work with you and support you in your strategy. Try and get monthly meetings in the diary to discuss all the tasks on your list- and make others responsible for some of the tasks too so they share in the change.

I hope this article helps Mowgli entrepreneurs think about how they can manage their business growth, and move on to the next Greiner growth phase.

In part 1 of this article, Anne describes what the Greiner growth curve is and how you can understand it in your own business. Read part 1 here.

We’ve found a free version of the original Greiner article hosted on the web here , if you are interested in finding out more.

There is a famous Harvard Business Review article, “Evolution and Revolution as Organizations Grow,” written by Larry Greiner. Written in 1972, it’s still a relevant and important text for anyone interested in small business growth and development. If you own a fast growing small business, you’ll immediately recognise the main point Greiner makes; that business growth can be hugely exciting- even fun-, but also causes upheaval and sometimes even chaos: and if you aren’t prepared to make some changes as you grow, you might end up in trouble.

In his article, Greiner begins by giving examples of problems or ‘crises’ caused by a lack of awareness of the management needs of different ‘phases’ of businesses. His theory is that each business, no matter what it makes or sells, goes through fairly standard changes as it grows, and that the structures and management styles that work for early-stage companies, may be detrimental to more mature ones- and vice versa.

Greiner’s idea is that in any business, each period of rapid growth will eventually hit a ‘crisis’ phase. At this point, managers or owners will either change their approach, or their business will stop growing- or possibly fail altogether. Recognizing these patterns and changes is the key to working out what’s blocking the business moving forward, and taking control so that you get through each crisis. To do this, business owners/managers need to look back and work out where you’ve come from- to understand where you are on the Greiner ‘growth curve.’

Greiner’s examples of management crises include:

A small research company chooses too complicated and formalized an organization structure for its young age and limited size. It flounders in rigidity and bureaucracy for several years and is finally acquired by a larger company.

and

A large bank disciplines a “rebellious” manager who is blamed for current control problems, when the underlying cause is centralized procedures that are holding back expansion into new markets. Many younger managers subsequently leave the bank, competition moves in, and profits are still declining.

In my own work, a relevant example recently was a family business which had reached 250 employees and had in the past turned a healthy profit each year. They had reached the ceiling and were beginning to falter, both on profit performance and on the controls within the business. The business had been started by the father, an entrepreneur; they now had three Directors, who were unclear where the business was going and as a result all had their own ideas about the future. This led to them pulling against each other, which caused friction between them.

By developing their business plan to focus on key objectives and supporting this with a clear strategy, they identified they needed to:
• Change the organisational reporting structure
• Hold regular senior management meetings to discuss strategic issues, as well as operational problems and achievement
• Improve the financial management procedures
• Develop the people management processes, by introducing an appraisal system, team meetings and greater accountability for staff
• Measure the impact of the sales team

This took 10 months to get in place, but over this time they began to see a reduction in staff turnover, better results from the sales team and a steady increase in business.  Developing a common vision with senior management accountable for their objectives, really began to move the business forward. Being entrepreneurial had taken them so far, but without the development of new management systems the business would have either remained where it was or worse still gone backwards.

Greiner’s Phases of Growth

The below graphic shows the Greiner model, which shows the five (he later revised it to six) phases of growth and the ‘crisis’ which means the manager must change to move forward.

The most relevant Greiner Phase for Mowgli entrepreneurs are probably the first two- Creativity phase and Direction phase, so we’ve discussed them in detail. (You can read more about the rest of the phases in his article, which we’ve linked to at the bottom.)

In each phase, the actions which ‘solve’ the crisis go on, as the company grows, to create the ‘crisis’ in the next phase. (Get it?)

Phase 1 – Creativity

The first phase is characterized by the following:
• Founders are technically or entrepreneurially oriented
• Communication is frequent and informal
• Long hours and modest salaries
• Reactive to feedback from the marketplace

Creativity Phase = The Leadership Crisis

As the company grows, new systems are needed – manufacturing, accounting, personnel, etc. The founders usually do not have the expertise to manage this new set of systems nor can they motivate new employees. This is the Leadership Crisis.

Phase 2 – Direction Phase

This phase is characterized by:

• Functional organization structure
• Accounting systems
• Formal, impersonal communication
• Direction centralized to the new, top managers

Direction Phase = Autonomy Crisis

As the company grows further, centralized management is inappropriate. Lower level managers come to possess better knowledge of the marketplace but are unable to react quickly. There is a demand from the team for greater autonomy but often this is very difficult for owner-managers who find it difficult to let go! However, you have to. The solution to this crisis is to push decision responsibility to lower levels. Managers who fail to do so will see their companies passed by quicker organizations. (You cannot do everything and grow at the same time!)

• Phase 3 – Delegation Phase/Control Crisis: Top management begin to lose control of field operations; and communication issues/coordination becomes a problem
• Phase 4 – Coordination Phase/Red Tape crisis:  Systems begin to outlive their usefulness; too much beaurocracy; disconnect between income generation and needs of the business.
• Phase 5 – Collaboration/Possible ? crisis: Experimentation, new ways of working, delegation of new ideas to employees, etc. The company begins to look outwards and internationalise.

What stage is your business at?

In part 2 of this article, Anne will help you understand how to apply this knowledge to your business.  Read Part 2 here.

We’ve found a free version of the original Greiner article hosted on the web here , if you are interested in the phases we haven’t described fully above.

A particularly common issue which we hear about from mentors is a ‘mid-point dip’; a sudden decrease in the level of contact, or lack of meaningful response from their mentee entrepreneur. When it happens, the ‘dip’ can leave mentors feeling somewhat, insecure about their performance as a mentor, or confused about their next steps. This article gives Mowgli’s guidance on how to deal with this issue.

Common reasons for the mid-point dip:

1. A crisis of confidence within the mentee.  A sense that they are not worthy of the support of the mentor

2. That they haven’t made the progress that they had hoped and feel that they have let the mentor down

3. That other opportunities come along which takes them away from their main focus

4. That they have got what they need from the relationship

The most important thing to remember: The mid-point dip is not unusual! Mentors and mentees should understand this – so that it is not treated as a barrier. Neither party should feel embarrassed or guilty about reaching this point and it does not mean either of you have failed in your roles.

Solution: communication

One of the symptoms is, obviously, a loss of communication. Firstly, if the mentor is unable to make contact, he/she should let Mowgli know so that attempts can be made locally to reconnect.  We have a number of methods open to us which the mentor may not necessarily be able to access so you should always alert the programme coordinator as soon as possible and Mowgli will try and support you.

Once the reconnection has been made, it may be necessary to re-negotiate either the relationship or the objectives of the mentee.  The main thing is that the truth of the  breakdown is brought to the surface, so that the root causes of the dip are identified and resolved and the relationship re-energised.

If they seem keen to revitalise the mentoring objectives and relationship, it is a good idea to try and begin a discussion about the progress they have made against their initial goals. Perhaps they have achieved most of them; perhaps they haven’t, but this is a good time for both of you to reflect not only on the business goals they may have achieved, but also on what they have learned from their efforts and mistakes over the past few months. Remember the Hero’s Journey and think about the stage your mentee may have reached- if they are stuck in a rut, reflection may be necessary for them to learn and progress.

Other points to consider:

• If you still cannot reconnect, be honest with yourself. As a mentor, have you listened properly? Have you been non-judgmental and accepting of the differences between you? You may also be able to learn from their previous responses to you and ‘read between the lines.’ Go back and re-read your notes and their emails to ensure you effectively addressed their worries and concerns. Self-awareness is an important part of mentoring. This is not about being ‘to blame’ – it is about understanding what happened and how you can learn from it.
• If your mentee has withdrawn from you and seems reluctant to re-engage, you may have to accept that your personal approach simply doesn’t ‘click’ with them. This should not be taken as a failure and should not make you feel guilty; it is a natural occurrence that is bound to happen in some cases. Please don’t give up on mentoring; Mowgli has so many opportunities for you to get involved and give your time to entrepreneurs, and you may simply ‘fit’ better with someone else.
• If the ‘dip’ turns out to be the natural end of the relationship, that is OK too.  Mowgli lays down a year for the length of the relationship so that each party knows the maximum commitment, but some people get what they need long before that – the mentor has done his/her job.
• In all cases, you will achieve the best result at the mid-point dip if you work through it with the support of the Mowgli team and your peer group of Mowgli mentors- and you will help others in turn by sharing your story.

We hope this helps mentors to evaluate and understand the ‘mid-point dip’. Has this happened to you? Let us know!

There is a general presumption- particularly in Western, mainstream economic press coverage- that entrepreneurship generally, and SMEs more particularly, are valuable for growth, innovation and development within national economies. Is this actually true?

Well, a 2003 study by Eakin and Kao suggests as much: the study found that increasing the ‘birth rate of firms’ also raises productivity levels in national economies. And Nystrom (2008) reviews all the evidence and concludes that “A majority of the studies on the relationship between entrepreneurship and aggregate economic growth find a positive relationship.” The studies that take a long term view especially support this ( the general gist is that entrepreneurship, to have sustainable positive effects, requires a supportive policy framework and government support).

Who is an entrepreneur?

Within the Mowgli community we often get to hear people’s differing opinions about exactly what an entrepreneur is and what role they play within societies. Personality-wise, entrepreneurs get some bad press. The FT profiled entrepreneurs as ‘often abrasive, rather marginalised people.‘  On our TV screens we might see entrepreneurs depicted as aggressive and even patronising, such as Alan Sugar on the UK Apprentice. (On the other hand, nobody denies that entrepreneurs like Sugar get business results). Why does Mowgli feel supporting entrepreneurs is so important?

Well, let’s define an entrepreneur first. You can find a number of different definitions if you look, but we’ll stay basic. An entrepreneur is someone who starts and runs a business or enterprise. True? Yes, but obviously, entrepreneurs are more than just managers. Some theorists (1) feel that the main difference between an entrepreneur and a manager is that entrepreneurs take more risks. A famous economic theorist called Schumpeter, however, felt slightly differently; he posited that the chief distinguishing characteristic of the entrepreneur was their capacity and propensity to innovate. 

For actions which consist in carrying out innovations we reserve the term Enterprise; the individuals who carry them out we call Entrepreneurs.

Saeed Omar, Mowgli Social Entrepreneur

Schumpeter’s thinking helps us to tie up the definition of the true entrepreneur with their potential to change economies and benefit society.

Who’s Schumpeter?

Cox (2001) comments “Born in Czechoslovakia in 1883, economist Joseph Schumpeter was far ahead of his time.” He outlined and articulated the workings of the capitalist market and growth cycle in several books and pamphlets and his thinking remains extremely influential. His approach was that “economies don’t grow, they evolve,” and that innovation on the part of small business owners – entrepreneurs- was a driving force of change and progress, even though it made other products and practices obsolete- what he called ‘creative destruction’.

As Schumpeter saw it, all firms had a life cycle; and this life cycle constantly provides opportunities for other firms to innovate even as the original firms reach the end of their profit making activities (if they cease to keep up). In the words of the Library of Economics and Liberty:

“[...] Schumpeter was among the first to lay out a clear concept of entrepreneurship. He distinguished inventions from the entrepreneur’s innovations. Schumpeter pointed out that entrepreneurs innovate not just by figuring out how to use inventions, but also by introducing new means of production, new products, and new forms of organization. These innovations, he argued, take just as much skill and daring as does the process of invention. Innovation by the entrepreneur, argued Schumpeter, leads to gales of “creative destruction” [...which], he believed, causes continuous progress and improves the standards of living for everyone.

The Economist magazine launched its famous column in Schumpeter’s name in 2009, with the rationale that capitalism the rise of modern business should be viewed positively for its effect on societies. In their words:

Joseph Schumpeter was one of the few intellectuals who saw business straight. He regarded business people as unsung heroes: men and women who create new enterprises through the sheer force of their wills and imaginations, and, in so doing, are responsible for the most benign development in human history, the spread of mass affluence.

Now, there are several obvious cautionary points to make about the benign intentions of business. And it’s important to be aware that this is not the last word on the matter; for example, another key theorist was Kirzner, who highlighted the key trait of the entrepreneur as that of identifying opportunities. Schumpeter’s theories have been criticised (here’s an example- this paper says that rather than creating opportunities that knock everything into disequilibrium and force others to innovate, the true entrepreneur is actually fulfilling economic potential and moving the economy towards an equilibrium where every economic opportunity is realised. Think about it!)… Even so, whatever you feel an entrepreneur actually is, the research I’ve quoted here all  still points in the same direction; entrepreneurs have a positive effect on economies. If that’s true, then supporting them at a personal level is surely the best way of ensuring that their impact remains positive and human-focused.

A group of Mowgli entrepreneurs with their mentors in 2010

Here at Mowgli, we meet entrepreneurs every day- and not only are they innovative, positive and driven, they’re also human. A mentor to talk to helps them remain focused- and most importantly, keep an eye on the bigger picture and their strategic future. Such clarity and forward thinking is crucial in order to avoid what Schumpeter called the ‘death of the firm.’ Not only that, creating lasting personal relationships between mentor and mentee is just as important for Mowgli as the wellbeing of the business; in order that the entrepreneur keeps their community and their personal goals in mind as their firm grows, not just money. As Schumpeter wrote, profit can only motivate a firm for so long; keeping a firm and a dream alive is about something more- the desire to keep innovating.

Further reading:

1) There’s a good article on defining entrepreneurial traits: Brockhaus and Horwitz (1986) ‘The Psychology of the Entrepreneur.’ The Art and Science of Entrepreneurship (1986) pp25-48.

2) Cox (2001) has written a fantastic article, downloadable for free here, which gives all the Schumpeterian quotes I’ve used here and an overview of his key theoretical insights.

3) Mowgli have written a paper called ‘The Critical Phases of Mentoring in the life of an Entrepreneur’. You might notice that the phases correspond to the life cycle of the firm- very similar to what Schumpeter was talking about. Click here to read it on Slideshare.

As we already know, our group members had variously listed: passion, wisdom, common sense, inspiration, trust, honesty, to be non-judgemental and have a sense of humour too, patience, prepared to listen and to have good business skills and experience gained from running their own business – in other words they walk the walk, not just talk the talk.

In addition I have found the following too:

• Be willing to share their knowledge, skills and perhaps even expertise
• To have a positive, can-do attitude
• To be a great role model – this ties in well with our series on the roles of the mentor
• To value their own continuing professional development and learning
• To be respected by other colleagues and perhaps employees
• To be able to express empathy for the mentee or entrepreneur
• To understand that different people learn in different ways and that they have differing motivations that are all equally valid
• To be able to identify opportunities that will help their mentee learn and develop
• To be comfortable outside their own comfort zones, so that they can help their mentee overcome theirs.

Do you have any qualities that you would like to add to the list, and if so what would they be?

Often it is something that we aren’t aware of possessing, simply because it is ingrained into our very bodies.  We would very rarely consider questioning our own ‘cultural patterns’ but we frequently question those of others, who we might believe to be better or worse than our own.  Yet, for anyone involved in mentoring relationships it is important that they are able to be both culturally curious AND culturally sensitive.There will be many ways in which a mentor can differ from their mentee that includes things like:

• age
• education
• ethnicity
• religious heritage
• socio-economic grouping
• access to technology and ease of use
• business age and success
• location; city or country, town or village
• Preferences for entertainment, clothing and even food

It would be all too easy though to just look at the differences whereas it would be much more helpful to focus on what you have in common.  Even better though would be being open to learning and appreciating BOTH the differences AND the similarities as with each area we have something to learn from each other and about ourselves too.

Exploring these differences and similarities allows us to examine our own pre-conceptions and prejudices, and at the same time to question their validity and appropriateness.  It’s at this point that considering our individual Meme’s (5 M’s of Mentoring) might be helpful to review.

One of the most powerful of the mentoring techniques can be the use of metaphor, but succesful use of metaphor requires that both parties have a common understanding about the ‘meaning’ attached to certain assumptions, things and objects.  If those assumptions aren’t present then the metaphor is likely not to make much sense to both parties. Therefore understanding and exploring each others assumptions will go a long way to enabling tools such as metaphor to be used successfully.

Developing Cultural Awareness

There are some simple steps that every mentor can take to be a more effective mentor, regardless of whether they are working with someone who is culturally similar or someone who is culturally, miles apart:

• Accept that your way may be right for you, but might not be right for your mentee based on sets of internalised values, ethics and customs
• Be honest when you examine your own prejudices and stereotypes
• Try to identify how common biases can come into being and the history that surrounds these – remember in history there is often no such thing as ‘fact’ simply perspective and it is often written from the perspective of the ‘winner’
• Differences in culture are opportunities to understand more about the world we all live in and how it has been shaped.  This truly is a learning experience that both can learn from
• It is important to understand the common threads that bind you, for instance a shared vision of reducing poverty can be enough to help start a process of overcoming cultural barriers
• Remember that our culture is like a well worn suit, it hangs just right and feels so comfortable that we are often barely unaware of wearing it.  When we are wearing a new suit, it feels uncomfortable, we may feel uneasy and ‘obvious’.  It’s okay to feel like this as long as you understand that your discomfort is because of the ill-ease, which may simply be our prejudices coming to the fore for us to examine them.

These two questions are actually quite fundamental and you need to know what YOU and YOUR mentor might get out of the relationship, because there is no question about it, this has to be a reciprocal deal.  Now different people get different things from becoming a mentor; for instance they may get kudos or respect in their industry or peer group, it may be part of their professional development plan, it may be that they have a skill they’d like to pass on.  Whatever the reason, there is no correct reason and it may be that their reason and your’s are mutually acceptable.

There are plenty of people willing to be mentors, but the good ones will normally be in a position to pick and choose who they work with and it is entirely possible that great mentors be in demand and already have several mentees. Therefore it is extra important that you can make your request stand out from the rest through using your enthusiasm and initiative.

For instance, if someone were to ask me to be their mentor, I would need to know that they understand the basic concepts of online communication, the rules and the etiquette; I’d also want to know that they have already got started on their social networking journey and that they haven’t been afraid to dip their toe in the water (even if it did get cold). In other words, I’d need evidence of their commitment simply because I know how much time and effort is required to reap the rewards from this type of relationship management.

There are many people you could potentially ask, and mentors can be found in many different places that you already frequent.  For example, have you looked at your exisiting network of friends, colleagues, former employers, coaches and online networkers.   Once you have a small group in mind, examine their experience, knowledge and understanding if it matches with your needs, and you think they will get something from the relationship too then you need to ask the next question; whom do you admire / respect?  because there is no point in attempting to work with someone you don’t like simply because they have experience you want to get your hands on, they’ll know that immediately and will probably reject your request.

Perhaps there is someone in that network that has already been helpful to you and whose insight or advice has already been useful.

Another way to look at choosing a potential mentor is by looking at the industries and market sectors that are complimentary to yours, rathetr than from yours directly.  This way, you might be able to get a slightly different perspective on your job or business.  In this case, it might be helpful to look at their skills and their network too.  You could identify niche skills that you wish to develop and ask your mentor if they can help you to develop these areas specifically.

For instance, I might (when starting to work with someone) ask them to start by producing their marketing plan or business plan – if they can’t do that then this is where we start and in the process they will develop the skills needed to put these essential business documents together.

Whilst some mentoring relationships are offered on a voluntary basis, many more involve a financial transaction that may be long term.  In these cases it is important to be extra sure that your mentor is qualified to help you, and a good mentor will tell you if they don’t think that they are the right person for you to work with.

In a mentor, Concern will be demonstrated by the interest that a mentor has for their mentee.  Levels of interest will vary quite naturally, but there will be an underlying concern that is directed towards the mentee acheiving the mutual goals that are being set within the relationship.  At the heart of the successful mentoring relationship will be the hope that the mentee develops to utilise their full potential – whether that is directed personally or whether it is directed towards building a business.

Concern becomes most effective when it draws on the knowledge, skills and expertise that a mentor has in order to tackle the problems and issues that are posed by their protege.  It lies at the root of empathy and as such is one of the emotions that will allow us to ‘walk in someone elses mocassins’.

In this situation, it is even more important to ensure that you clearly ‘listen’ to what’s being said without ‘hearing’ something different.  There are a number of things you can do to help you make the most of your online communications, whether these are by email or by Skype.

1. Make it personal. In other words use the other persons name at appropriate points to ensure that they know you are directing your communication at them specifically
2. Keep it brief.  Use brief paragraphs and/or short sentences as these are easier to understand
3. Ask questions.  It is fine to ask questions, these help to clarify the context and the communication, if an email discussion needs to take place over several messages then so be it.
4. Use emoticons.  Smilies (as they are also known) are also great for communicating your underlying emotion about a particular statement or subject, but do be sure that the receiver knows what they mean. Even now I come across people who ask me what all the strange characters are in emails because they aren’t shown the little face symbols.
5. Avoid abbreviations where possible.  Just because you know that CILIP means Chartered Institute of Library and Information Professionals (my own professional body as it happens) doesn’t mean that the person you are talking to does.
6. If in doubt, leave it out.  If you wince when you read something you’ve just read, then it’s better to leave it out and if necessary wait 24 hours before responding.
7. Practice patience.  Especially when using services like Skype or when communicating with people across time zones.

According to Wikipedia, “Empathy, which literally translates as in feeling, is the capability to share another being’s emotions and feelings.”

To show empathy is to identify with another’s feelings. It is to emotionally put yourself in the place of another. The ability to empathize is directly dependent on your ability to feel your own feelings and identify them. However, it would be easy to assume that this means you have to experience the same emotions and become the same as the other person – this is not in fact what empathy is.  Rather you can identify with another’s feelings whilst retaining your own individual boundaries.  In other words, I can understand why someone feels as they do, but I don’t necessarily have to a. feel the same or b. think the same in order to have empathy with them.

As an entrepreneur, you are required to be a ‘Jack of all trades’ many times over and yet rarely will you have had formal training in most of the areas that will now be the bread and butter of your life.  Yet this is one area where those who have highly advanced social skills and who also know how to use the social networks from a technical perspective, can really clean up.

To be socially intelligent – from my perspective – you need to exhibit the following seven characteristics AND have a reasonably high degree of understanding about how the networks such as Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter really work.  The characteristics are:

• Empathy
• Listening
• Social Cognition
• Synchrony
• Self Presentation
• Influence
• Concern

What is particularly interesting for me as a mentor though, is that these are the very skills that every mentor needs as well if they are to be effective in their work with their clients and over the coming few weeks I’ll be taking a closer look at each of these character traits to see what you can do to ensure that you are working with them favourably.  Once you have those under your belt, then my little series on how to use the social networks should help you to develop that all important Social Intelligence …. Enjoy!

In the song, Baloo the Bear explains what is safe to eat and what to avoid for Mowgli.  He gives guidance, but he also imparts an important road map for survival, which is, in my opinion, slightly different.  In fact, you could say that Baloo’s role for Mowgli is as his primary Mentor and primarily he fulfils the role of Guide.

I have known many mentors over the years, people whose opinion I have sought on a regular basis, people who have helped me become the person I am today and people who have guided my career; almost all of them have become lifelong friends as well.

However, if your mentoring is strictly work based or your company are taking it upon themselves to find a mentor for you, then it may be that you never truly feel completely comfortable with that person.  In these circumstances, I would question whether you can get what you need from the relationship simply because those two active ingredients, trust and liking, aren’t available to you.