Last week I wrote an article about how Mentors could improve their listening skills and that’s all very well, but lots of us are now working in the online environment where email and web based communication methods rule. Maybe you use something like Skype as well. Therefore the normal rules of listening no longer apply – or do they?A great deal of our communication these days is based in the written word and to be fair it is hard to get to the emotional undertone with which the communication is written. In fact, as my partner is fond of saying ‘meaning lies in the receiver’. In other words, what someone hears (or reads) is very much dependent upon what sort of an emotional state they are in and what meaning they attach to the words, sentences and paragraphs conveyed.
In this situation, it is even more important to ensure that you clearly ‘listen’ to what’s being said without ‘hearing’ something different. There are a number of things you can do to help you make the most of your online communications, whether these are by email or by Skype.
- Make it personal. In other words use the other persons name at appropriate points to ensure that they know you are directing your communication at them specifically
- Keep it brief. Use brief paragraphs and/or short sentences as these are easier to understand
- Ask questions. It is fine to ask questions, these help to clarify the context and the communication, if an email discussion needs to take place over several messages then so be it.
- Use emoticons. Smilies (as they are also known) are also great for communicating your underlying emotion about a particular statement or subject, but do be sure that the receiver knows what they mean. Even now I come across people who ask me what all the strange characters are in emails because they aren’t shown the little face symbols.
- Avoid abbreviations where possible. Just because you know that CILIP means Chartered Institute of Library and Information Professionals (my own professional body as it happens) doesn’t mean that the person you are talking to does.
- If in doubt, leave it out. If you wince when you read something you’ve just read, then it’s better to leave it out and if necessary wait 24 hours before responding.
- Practice patience. Especially when using services like Skype or when communicating with people across time zones.
